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Caring for an Elderly Loved One Who Wasn’t Caring Toward You

By Nancy Delwaide, 9:00 am on

Relationships within families can sometimes be tense. You may one day be faced with caring for an elderly parent who wasn’t the most loving individual when you were growing up. However, if this situation arises for you, there are steps you can take to do the right thing despite past grievances.

Acknowledge Your Past and Make Peace

If your loved one wasn’t or isn’t very caring toward you, it’s okay to acknowledge it. Too often adult children blame themselves for their parents’ actions during their childhood. Acknowledging your loved one wasn’t very caring and that you aren’t to blame can be a big step toward acceptance. Seeing a therapist can help you make peace with your past and forgive your loved one for parenting mistakes and can give you the strength you need to care for him or her now.

Caring Doesn’t Mean Coddling

Caring for your loved one doesn’t mean he or she needs to be coddled or you need to answer to his or her every demand. Providing Oakville elderly home care for your loved one means responsibly addressing his or her needs, which may include help with cleaning, cooking, bathing, medication reminders, and much more. Sometimes elderly parents can be very demanding. Always remember to remain calm and rise above your loved one’s actions to provide him or her with the necessary care.

Remember the Example You Are Setting

Your children are likely learning from your example of selfless service. With your actions, you are showing them they can be kind and caring toward others, even if the person they care for has been unkind to them. Teaching your children and grandchildren to put family first is an important lesson best taught through actions.

Explore Other Caregiving Options

If it’s difficult for you to care for your loved one every day or you cannot put the past behind you, consider exploring other caregiving options. Hiring an Oakville in-home caregiver to help your loved one still shows you care, even if it’s too overwhelming for you to do the caregiving yourself. There are a variety of different care services that can be tailored to fit your loved one’s needs and your budget.

Though it may be difficult to ignore the past, focusing on the present and meeting your loved one’s care needs may help strengthen the relationship. If you need help providing high-quality care for your loved one, turn to Home Care Assistance. Our caregivers are trained to assist with a wide variety of tasks and are available around the clock. For more information on live-in and respite home care Oakville seniors and their families can count on, call one of our qualified Care Managers at (905) 337-1200 to schedule a free consultation.